Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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