Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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