Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
