I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize