Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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