FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
