If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
