I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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