remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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