got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize