he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
