Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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