We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He shit in the fireplace
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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