Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
