SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
