why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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