I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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