I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
