Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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