I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
