OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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