Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
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Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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