Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You dont lie about slip and slides
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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