I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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