Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is Oprah even human
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
