he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love having hate sex.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
