I want to make a zoo with you.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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