she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
