omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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