you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
