ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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