walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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