2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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