You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
