Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
