I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
