I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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