NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize