I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just want to make out with him forever
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
