I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
either way he was missing a nipple.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
