im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize