Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
