Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
