He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
