the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
