we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
