i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
