When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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