So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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