I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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