You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
