I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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