he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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