Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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