Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
