operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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