Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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