he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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