My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
