dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
