i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
